Watercooler Sensation

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Fat People Make Us Hot

• Obesity is blamed for a whole host of problems in life: heart problems, bullying, the inability to fit into your “skinny jeans.” But here’s a new one to us: global warming? [LAT]
• That’s right. Researchers at the LondonSchool of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine (Ed. Note: Awesome name!) say obese people are contributing to the global problem of climate change *and* the high cost of food.
• Obese people around the world, say scientists Phil Edwards and Ian Roberts, use more than their fair share of our resources. [Daily Telegraph]
• First, they eat more 18% more food. About 20% of greenhouse gas comes from the production of agriculture, remember.
• Secondly, they use more fuel. Bigger bodies use more fuel to transport them around, and it takes more fuel to transport the greater quantities of food they eat.
• From their report: “Promotion of a normal distribution of BMI would reduce the global demand for, and thus the price of, food.”
• They suggest some fixes that would not only improve the health of the planet, but would also help the health of the overweight. To fight global warming, cities should promote biking instead of driving, for example.
• The National Obesity Forum is not amused. Their spokesman says, “Really, it is discriminatory towards obese people. They are an easy target at the moment, but I think the causes of climate change and rising food prices is much more complex.” [BBC]

According to some scientists, the bigger food consumption problem in America is actually food waste, so lay off people with weight problems.

Shock Jocks Taint The Pool

• Brilliant bit of self promotion? Or attempt to subvert American justice? You decide.
• Shock jock hosts John Kobylt and Ken Chiampou of KFI-AM in Los Angeles have a new segment for their radio show: Taint the jury pool. [Washington Post]
• On Trial: Bad guy Michael S. Carona, a former LA sheriff charged with conspiracy, obstruction of justice and public corruption. He, his wife, and his “long-time mistress” (!) are charged with accepting hundreds of thousands of dollars in bribes, boats and cold-hard cash in return for “get out of jail free” cards. Carona is pleading Not Guilty.
• John and Ken are convinced Carona’s attorneys are going to try to weed out all of the intelligent and capable jurors, so they’re instructing listeners with half a brain to lie their way onto the jury.
• On the air, John urged potential jurors: “If you’re in OrangeCounty and you end up on the Mike Carona jury, remember you have to lie to the attorneys.”
• He added, “Tell them you have an absolute open mind, you pay very little attention to the coverage, Mike Carona looks like a good, upstanding Christian man, you never listen to KFI, you never listen to ‘The John and Ken Show’ — and then you vote guilty at the end of it all.”
• The two radio hosts say they’re not just doing this as a publicity stunt – they actually think it’s important people remember how messed up the American justice system can be.
• John: “We don’t spend five seconds pretending this system works.”
• As you can imagine, Carona’s laywers are not amused. They’ve asked for a change in venue, contending potential jurors in the area have been exposed to “toxic publicity,” a “barrage of inflammatory publicity” and “prejudicial newspaper articles.” [LA Times]

We particularly like when John and Ken have dramatic readings of the incriminating transcripts from Carona’s wiretaps. That’s good stuff.

The Science of Swapping Spit

Do you have $995 and a load of spit from inside your cheek?

If so, you can take a chance at genetic and olfactory harmony through ScientificMatch.com

Combining genetic testing, dating, and the Internet, the company uses your spit to find your soulmate.

The company argues that genetic testing matches lead to better sex, increased fertility, healthier kids, less cheating and more orgasms.

Um, how?

Known as MHC (for major histocompatibility complex), certain genes control how the immune system recognizes and fights off microscopic foreign invaders such as viruses, fungi and bacteria.

Those with very different MHC smell best to you, while those with similar MHC smell like dirty gym socks.

This would give your kids an evolutionary advantage, since they’d be better able to fight off a variety of illnesses.

Our favorite quote: “A good armpit musk, then, might be the spicy perfume of genetic diversity, an evolutionary come-hither call.”

Its not fool proof.

These preferences appear to actually reverse for some women on hormonal birth control.

Also, visual attractiveness seems to be based on similarity, not differences.

But the founder of Scientific Match stands by all his claims.

“All of the benefits that I’ve listed are supported by, and derived from, peer-reviewed scientific research,” says Eric Holzle.

Its a lot less awkward than walking around a bar sniffing guys’ armpits, but we still don’t want to send our spit to a stranger.

By the Numbers

In a “stark acknowledgment that the United States is likely to continue to hold prisoners overseas for years to come,” the Pentagon is building a brand-new, enormous prison on the American military base in Afghanistan. [NY Times]

40

Number of acres encompassed by the new prison complex.

630

Number of prisoners currently held at our old prison in Bagram, north of Kabul.

10

Number of those prisoners we recently found out were juveniles, according to an April UN report

600 – 1,100

Number of prisoners the new prison can hold.

$60 million

Price tag for the new prison

$7 million

The amount the Pentagon estimates it will take to run the prison every year

Celebrities: Unfiltered

Some of us in the Style section (well, one of us) would like to say something about Prince Caspian’s hair, as seen on the head of 26-year-old British actor Ben Barnes in “The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian,” which opened yesterday, and can also be seen on movie posters pasted up around town and in newspaper ads.

What we want to say about his chestnutty, floppy, feathery, David Cassidy-derived hair — without having to go through the charade of scheduling an interview with the actor and subjecting readers to the many hundreds of words about conditioners and layering that could needlessly result — is that we think Prince Caspian’s hair looks really, really good. Some of us (well, one of us) would give anything to get our hair to do what his does, especially while wearing a suit of armor on horseback during battle scenes and in other on-the-go situations.

We congratulate everyone involved with Prince Caspian’s hair.

That is all.

— An entire article from the Washington Post on the virtues of Prince Caspian’s really, really good hair. [Washington Post]

Speed Round

THE CRAZY YOUTUBE DIVORCE LADY IS BACK

Oh, yes, bitter New York divorcee Tricia Walsh Smith is back, with gems like this one: “The names I’ve been called — a tramp, a slut. . . And things like, ‘Oh, look what feminism has done. This stupid little woman thinks she can have an opinion’. . . I’m just supposed to accept it. Well, I don’t. I’m going to go down yelling and screaming.” [Page Six]

BROADWAY IDOL

Remember American Idol “winner” Taylor Hicks? He’s headed to Broadway, to play the Teen Angel in the current incarnation of “Grease.” Your Nana wants to go to New York. [NY Daily News]

$400,000

Amount our hero, the Round Mound of Rebound Charles Barkley, owes in outstanding gambling debts to the WynnCasino in Las Vegas. [NY Daily News]

RUMOR PATROL

Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong. Discuss. [Perez Hilton]

ICE-COLD MILK AND WHAT?

“It’s the color of wet mud! And the bit ... looks like toothpaste rather than cream.” It’s official: Oreos don’t translate into British. (Now maybe they’ll finally understand how we feel about Benny Hill.) [ABC News]

TO CATCH A MINISTER

“A minister from a Dallas-area Baptist megachurch was caught in an Internet sex sting and charged with online solicitation of a minor.” [Fox News]

FOUR WORDS YOU REALLY DON’T WANT IN A HEADLINE

“Derailed train leaks acid” [CNN]

WHAT WOULD JESUS BOYCOTT?

How to tell if you officially have way too much time on your hands: You’re organizing your church group boycott against the new Starbucks logo because you think the mermaid drawing is “too revealing.” [MSNBC]

TRAINED FISH

New York has a novel new way to get rid of worn out subway cars *and* help the troubled environment: Dump the train cars on the ocean floor to provide an artificial “reef” habitat for homeless fish. [Reuters]

PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS

Then again, you’re not Einstein. His letter on God recently sold for $404,000, and described the Bible as “pretty childish.” [New York Times]

HEADLINE OF THE WEEK

“‘He’s eating my brain. I can feel it,’ recalls bear attack survivor.” Ouch! [CBC]

AWWW

China’s giant pandas are ok after last week’s quake, but rubble is making it difficult to get bamboo to the pandas. Don’t worry, they’re giving them giant energy bars until the roads can be cleared. [CNN]

WHISTLE WHILE YOU TASE

We all know that tasers are fun, fierce and now...fashionable? The Taser company is now releasing both a pink lady’s Taser and a Taser equipped with an MP3 player so you can have a Taser to match every outfit. [New York TImes]

CLASS OF.08

While shirts with jokes about drunk driving are always in style (wait, what?), making them for your senior week in high school is probably unwise. [Fox]

LOOK MA, NO SHIRT

When you’re editing photos for a school yearbook, make sure that you don’t accidentally photoshop a child’s head onto a nude photo. [CNN]