Watercooler Sensation

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America: #22 In Prosperity And Stability

• USA! USA! USA! We’re number...22? [Times Online]
• That’s right, according to Jane’s Country Risk, a prestigious British private intelligence firm, the United States ranks 22nd in “a global assessment of every nation’s achievements and standards.”
• Who’s first and why are we so low?
• Little wealthy European countries rank high, with the Vatican at #1, Luxembourg at #3 and Monaco at #4.
• Sweden (always the prosperity hog) ranks second.
• Why is America all the way at 22nd? “The proliferation of small arms [guns!] owned by Americans and the threat to the population posed by the flow of drugs from across the Mexican border.”
• Another point of interest: Afghanistan is ranked lower than even Iraq, coming in fourth from the bottom above only Gaza/West Bank, Somalia, and Sudan. [Washington Times]
• The reason? “The [Afghan] central government is very weak, the drug trade is undermining the economy and the government cannot assert its will over warlords who run much of the hinterlands.”

Ugh.

Puppy Love In Baghdad

• Earlier this week, the 4,000th American troop was killed in Iraq. While the Bush administration blindly touts its operation in Iraq as a success, we’re smart enough to know otherwise. Still, little stories like this one still tug at our heart strings. [USA Today]
• Turns out, abandoned pups in Iraq and Afghanistan are starting to get a break.
• See, the do-gooders at a group called Operation Baghdad Pups are easing the process for service members who want to bring stray dogs home when they leave Iraq or Afghanistan.
• Launched in November, Operation Baghdad Pups, which operates under the umbrella of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA) International, has more than 30 dogs and several cats it is working to bring to the USA.
• The group spends $4,000 to $6,000 on each rescue, and makes sure that the animals have all of their vaccinations before leaving the country.
• Caring for and adopting pets is — technically speaking — against Pentagon policy. However, Spc. Charles Espie, a U.S. Central Command spokesman in Baghdad, notes that there are many exceptions to that rule.

Interested in helping these pooches out? The group raises money through donations and a partnership with www.ilovedogs.com.

Snakes On A Plane

• According to a federal appeals court yesterday, you have absolutely no passenger rights if you get stuck on an airplane. None. [AP]
• The 2nd U.S. Court of Appeals struck down the new “Passengers Bill Of Rights,” a New York law which would have required airlines to provide you with food, a toilet and fresh air if you get trapped on a plane delayed on the ground for hours.
• The law passed after passengers were trapped on a Jet Blue flight at Kennedy International Airport in New York on Valentines Day 2007. Passengers had no access to food, water, fresh air or toilets while the plane was stranded on the tarmac for over 10 hours. It happened again a month later, when an ice storm grounded planes at the same airport.
• The Air Transport Association of America – the airline lobbying group – fought the law. And now they’ve won.
• The Courts said New York couldn’t enact laws regarding air travel because it would interfere with the federal government’s role in regulating the industry.
• According to the court, if we allow New York to say passengers have the right to access a toilet, “another state could be free to enact a law prohibiting the service of soda on flights departing from its airports, while another could require allergen-free food options on its outbound flights, unraveling the centralized federal framework for air travel.” [Newsday]
• (The federal government, by the way, couldn’t get it together to pass a federal law saying you have to have access to a toilet the next time you’re stuck on a grounded plane for 13 hours. Although Sen. Barbara Boxer introduced the federal Airline Passenger Bill of Rights Act of 2007 last April, after a set of introductory hearings, nothing has happened.) [CBS News]
• The airlines and their lobbyists, by the way, have given $6.66 million in donations to lawmakers in the past three election cycles. [Open Secrets]

The number for Amtrak is 1-800-USA-RAIL.

By the Numbers

Gee, your city smells terrific! Some people like their cities to be rough and gritty mean streets. We, on the other hand, really dig fresh air, scrubbed sidewalks and empty trash cans with our big-city culture. Luckily, a new survey from Forbes lets us know where to go for the most cleanest cities in America. [Forbes]

#1

Welcome to Miami, cleanest city in the country!

#2

Seattle! This is no fluke – the city that brought us coffee and grunge spends more per capita on waste management than any major city in the country.

#3,4

Jacksonville and Orlando, which, with #1 Miami and #8 Tampa, make Florida one of the cleanest states in the union. The state recently launched programs to give power plants the equipment they need to scrub harmful emissions before they’re let loose into the air.

#5

Portland! Again, this Oregon city has worked hard at housekeeping, with a $2 billion investment in cleaning up the Willametten River and adding more biofuels to its bus fleet.

Celebrities: Unfiltered

“Bitchassness.”

— P. Diddy’s new catchphrase, which he’s trying to turn into some overnight sensation via overpriced t-shirts and (gasp!) an Internet video. We’re not sure what it means...and we’re okay with that. [Hollyscoop]

Speed Round

TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

Due to a technological glitch, two days ago your boss would’ve been able to see the pictures of you passed out with a pizza box on your head on Facebook. [AP]

CELEBRIDIRT

A clip of Britney on ‘How I Met Your Mother,’ seeming almost like a normal human adult. [Mollygood]

EDUCATION

Georgetown University introduces a new class on Harry Potter, which makes us feel a lot better about taking that class on Tupac. [CNN]

HEADLINE OF THE DAY

“Easter Bunny Says He Did Not Drop Child on Purpose” [Fox News]

HAIR-RAISING TALE

When we don’t like our haircut, we don’t tip. When this woman didn’t like her haircut, her stylist shot her in the back. [AP]

I’M YOUR PUSHER

It’s a little like how heroin dealers hook new addicts by offering them “free” drugs in the beginning: Patients who receive free medication samples from their doctors end up spending 40% more for meds in the following six months than those who didn’t. [MSNBC]

TODAY IN BUSH

“I’m a good fisherman. Sometimes I’m a good catcher-man” — Pres. Bush, meeting the the ‘08 Bassmaster fishing champions Alton Jones and Judy Wong to the Oval Office yesterday. [The Swamp]

MAN’S BEST FRIEND

The ongoing foreclosure crisis is hurting more than our pocketbooks — it’s forcing more and more Americans to abandon their pets. Your dog wants a solution to the slouching economy. [USA Today]

FIRST BEES, NOW BATS

Bats are dying, and no one knows why. What do they know that we don’t? [NY Times]

THE SECRET OF THE YUPPIE

Researchers find that merely thinking of the Apple logo makes you more creative. Mind control secrets of Steve Jobs revealed! [Wired]

SPYTUBE

U.S. intelligence and military operatives are getting a YouTube of their own to share classified videos. Any torture tapes in there? (Inquiring minds want to know.) [Wired]

FYI

“How To Buy Your Own Private Island” [GearCrave]

TEENAGE PHASE

Add this little tidbit to your collection of “Teenagers Are Whack” stories. A 13-year-old Texas “madam” is arrested for luring other teenage girls to sell sex for money. [ABC NEWS]

TAMA-BOOBY

A new online game allows users to create, dress, groom, nurture, and give a boob job to a “Miss Bimbo.” Just imagine what your little girl will be asking for next! [ABC NEWS]

NO MORE NEEDLE NEED

It’s a lucky day for those with needle phobia. Scientists have identified all 1,116 unique proteins found in human saliva glands, bringing us a big hop closer towards spit-based, needle-free diagnostic tests. [REUTERS]

FIRST-GRADE KIND OF WEDDING

An Alaska couple is married in a swimming pool, becoming the envy of every first-grade couple. [AP]