Speed Round
AUDIO: PETER PACE SAYS GOODBYE
Good ol’ Chairman of the Joint Chief of Staff Peter “Homosexuality Is Immoral” Pace had his going away celebration today. Here’s him giving his take on American democracy.
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AUDIO: PETER PACE’S FAVORITE MOVIE
Is The Kite Runner. You’d think he’d have some other inside look at what’s going on in Afghanistan...but maybe not.
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AUDIO: BUSH TALKS ABOUT HIS MAMA
Peter Pace enjoys his mother’s love. Georgie and Barbara’s relationship is a little more strained.
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BLACKWATER
The FBI says they’ll open up an investigation into the shoot-out that killed 11 Iraqi civilians. [TPM Muckraker]
BLACK IS WHITE, DOW IS UP
The Dow surges to record highs after weeks of uncertainty surrounding the subprime mortgage market.
GUANTANAMO MYSTERY
No one can figure out where detainees at Guantanamo Bay got their new, unauthorized Speedo underpants. [The Blotter]
$25,000
Cost of the full-length dividers the Minneapolis Airport is installing between bathroom stalls to protect travelers from congressmen with “wide stances.” [ABC News]
WAR
A teenager in Afghanistan was killed by the Taliban for having U.S. money in his pocket. [USA Today]
GRANDPA’S LOCKED UP
Forget being stuck with a shiv during lunch or elaborate prison breaks; the new big challenge facing America’s jails is their growing elderly population. [USA Today]
TODAY IN LARRY CRAIG
Love this headline: “Craig’s Fall May Benefit Salmon.” [AP]
MISSED THE MEMO
Apparently GOP presidential contender Fred Thompson missed that whole “there were no WMD in Iraq” memo. [Des Moines Register]
HEADLINES THAT MAKE US CRINGE
“School stages mock lynching with little kids” [USA Today]
AIN’T NO PARTY LIKE A PUTIN PARTY
He’s not done yet: Vladamir Putin announced “he’ll lead the dominant party’s ticket in December parliamentary elections and suggested he could become prime minister.” [AP]
GOOD NEWS!
Fatal airplane crashes have plummeted 65% (Get it? Plummeted? Forget it.) [NY Times]