Watercooler Sensation

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In Europe, Pollution Causes More Deaths Than Car Accidents

• Bad news for our friends across the pond: According to Europe’s environmental agency, “poor air and water quality, and environmental changes blamed on global warming, have cut Europeans’ life expectancy by nearly a year.” [AP]
• Hundreds of thousands of people across Europe are dying prematurely because of air pollution, it said. “The estimated annual loss of life is significantly greater than that due to car accidents,” the report said.
• At this rate, life expectancy in western and central Europe will be shorter by nearly a year, it said. The current average age expectancy in western and central Europe is 70 for men and 74 for women.
• And the news isn’t any better in Eastern Europe. In ex-Soviet Union nations, more than 100 million people still don’t have access to safe drinking water.
• Don’t forget the environment. Effects linked to global warming (think: overfishing and crop shortages) have posed major threats to Europe’s overall ecosystem.
• Want to know the other ways by which global warming is ruining all the fun for life on the planet? There’s hundreds of them. Seriously. Check out Mic Check’s list. [American Progress]

In other news, the French laugh at smoking bans.

It’s A Moose’s World — You’re Just Living In It

• We always knew that nature was nimble — but this is a twist on adaptation that we never expected. Experts in Yellowstone National Park are saying that moose have started taking advantage of human development by using it as a shield against their predators. [Live Science]
• But wait, you say, isn’t over-development a bad thing? In 99 percent of cases, yes; it most certainly is. That 1 percent is reserved for pregnant moose who, nowadays, are moving closer to roads and people when its time for them to give birth.
• Here’s why: Brown bears, who prey heavily on moose calves, typically shy away from human traffic, avoiding areas within about 1,600 feet (500 meters) of roads in Yellowstone and elsewhere.
• Over the past decade, scientists found the number of bears increased rapidly, apparently due to conservation efforts. At the same time, pregnant moose apparently moved a whopping 400 feet (125 meters) closer, on average, to paved roads each year to give birth.
• “We as humans have unwittingly provided all kinds of de facto protection for these moose without trying to,” Wildlife Conservation Society biologist Joel Berger said. He detailed his team’s findings online Oct. 9 in the journal Biology Letters.
• Similar examples of prey species using humans as cover from carnivores have occurred in Kenya, where vervet monkeys stay close to ranger stations to avoid leopards, and in Nepal, where axis deer have evaded tigers by lingering near a tourist center.

Cutest. Story. Ever.

Save $30K — We Have Dan Bartlett For Free

• Dan Bartlett, former counselor in the Bush White House, may have retired from his post, but he still has a lot to say.
• Bartlett is currently touring the nation, earning a few bucks making speeches.
• Want him to speak to your group in DC? That’ll set you back $10,000. Want him to come to your out-of-town meeting? That’ll be a cool $30,000.
• Luckily, we have quotes from his latest speeches here for you, for free. You’re welcome.
• Bartlett’s assessment of the ’08 GOP field, as complied by the Washington Post: “Fred D. Thompson is the campaign’s ‘biggest dud,’ Mitt Romney has ‘a real problem in the South’ because of his religion, Mike Huckabee’s last name is too hick, and John McCain could pull a repeat of his 2000 performance by winning New Hampshire yet losing the battle.” [Washington Post]
• Bartlett on the “biggest regret” of his time at the White House: “I can think of a banner on a certain ship.” (Mission Accomplished, anyone?)
• Bartlett on the Republican Voters: “Republicans, I believe, are terrified about losing the presidency after losing Congress.” [AP]
• Bartlett on the time Dick Cheney shot a guy in the face: Bartlett says he was “stunned” to learn the Vice President and his people were planning to keep the shooting a secret. He finally got Cheney on the phone and said“Mr. Vice President, I know you don’t have any traveling press with you, but we need to pull together a pool, either get them down there, get you on the phone with them. We need to work this out.” The response? “ ‘Dead silence.’ Then: ‘This is how we’re going to handle it.’’” Bartlett’s response: “‘Okaaay, Mr. Vice President.’ Hang up the phone and the rest is history.’”
• Bartlett, on his popularity since leaving the White House: After leaving the White House, Bartlett bought an iPhone. “I was convinced it was broken on a Sunday afternoon because I literally didn’t have a single e-mail all day. I had my wife send me an e-mail to make sure it was working. It went right through. So to go from 500 e-mails a day to zero was strange.” [Washington Post]

Take pity on the man: Everyone send Dan Bartlett an e-mail today, just to say “hey.” Everyone.

The Martian Vote

• Candidates vying for the presidency in 2008, listen up. There’s a new constituency in town, and they want to live on Mars. [Wired]
• Chris Carberry is the political director of the Mars Society, a group whose goal is to “establish a human mission to Mars as the primary goal of the U.S. Space Program.” [Mars Society]
• Carberry’s mission is simple: to find out where the candidates stand on Mars, and if they’re skeptical, to encourage them to give Mars a second look.
• So far, Carberry has sought out candidates out on the trail, successfully piquing Senator Obama’s interest ("I’m inspired by the idea of going to Mars,” Obama told him) and cautious enthusiasm from others: “I know McCain is very enthusiastic about space — he is a fan of space, of exploration,” Carberry says. “Romney and Giuliani both said they’re not sure, they haven’t fully investigated the issue.”
• The Mars Society boasts “7,000 passionate and devoted members in 80 chapters across the United States and worldwide,” and, as blogger Armin Ellis puts it, “this is a topic about which a non-zero percentage of the voters care about.” [Hobby Space]
• Mars Society’s goals are serious: they’ve got a quarter of a million dollar budget, and a steering committee whose membership includes Buzz Aldrin and, before he left to take his current job, NASA administrator Michael Griffin.
• “We could be there in 10 years,” says Robert Zubrin, founder of the Mars Society, “From a technical point of view, we are much better prepared to send men to Mars now than we were prepared to send men to the moon when Kennedy announced the goal in 1961, and we were there in eight years.”

Going to Mars: a far, far better boondoggle than the War in Iraq.

We Need To Talk About Your TPS Reports

• If you’re a farmer, a manufacturer or a journalist, do yourself a favor and stop reading now. The following will only depress you.
• Forbes Magazine has compiled a list of the worst possible jobs you can have for the 21st Century. [Forbes]
• Manufacturing: We saw this one coming. Manufacturing jobs will decline 5% by 2014, as more and more jobs float away overseas.
• File Clerks: What are you, Bartelby the Scribner? The rest of the world has joined the Internet Age, and Technology is taking over for most of the more menial office jobs, which will lose 36% of their ranks by 2014.
• Journalists: The problem with letting everyone on the Internet become a “journalist” is that there’s less need for actual journalists. The profession is expected to grow by only 5% over the next decade, and most jobs will be in smaller markets.
• Travel Agents: Again, blame the Internet. Fewer of us are calling our trusty old travel agents, preferring instead to check out Orbitz, Travelocity and Expedia all by ourselves. The Department of Labor says these jobs will fall 6% over the next decade.
• Fishermen: Ah, the dream of a life on the open sea. Unfortunately, thanks to cheap imports and overfishing in areas like the Pacific Northwest, that dream will be dashed for about 17% of current fishing vessel operators.
• So what’s a hard-workin’ fella like yourself to do? We’ve got three words for you: Health, education, finance. Trust us.

Kinda makes our plan of marrying a sugar daddy and living the life of Kimora Lee Simmons look pretty stable, huh?

By the Numbers

TWISTED

Students in Fargo, North Dakota, grown tired of their wood-chippers, have taken to abusing human bodies in new ways with the world’s largest game of Twister. Right foot red! Here are the numbers: [USA Today]

24

The number of dots on a normal Twister mat

180

Number of mats combined to form the largest mat ever (still to be verified by the folks at the Guinness World Records)

4320

The number of dots the largest mat has (we did the math for you).

Over 450

The number of students who participated simultaneously in the game

Celebrities: Unfiltered

“I think we talked sort of generally about how smelly Elizabethan England would have been. We did talk about the smell and how bad everyone’s breath would have been.”

— If you want to know what the silver screen’s most respected actresses, like Cate Blanchett and Judi Dench, talk about off-screen — well, this is it. Smelly England. [AP]

Speed Round

NATIONAL SECURITY

Jack Bauer is sentenced to a 48-day lockup for his DUI — Homeland Security threat level raised to ‘orange.’ [People]

SO HOT RIGHT NOW

Charlize Theron is named Esquire magazine’s “sexiest woman alive.” We’re guessing “Monster” hasn’t arrived from their Netflix queue yet. [AP]

CELEBRIDIRT

Did Britney beat up K-Fed? We’re just saying... [TMZ]

THE ANIMAL KINGDOM

“Everyone remain calm, the zoo’s wild staffers have been returned to their cages so that the animals can go on about their business.” [AFP]

DEAR ABBY LOVES THE GAYS

Author Jeanne Phillips – better known as the current “Dear Abby” — is speaking out in favor of gay marriage, telling AP, “I believe if two people want to commit to each other, God bless ‘em.” [WTOP News]

MOMMA FROM THE BLOCK

JLo is preggers…with twins. [US Magazine]

$250,000

Amount a rare, mint-condition Detective Comics No. 27, or the very first Batman comic, is expected to fetch after being found in an Ellwood City, PA attic. (The only comic book considered more valuable is Action Comics No. 1, or Superman’s debut.) [Fox News]

GETTING’ BUSY

Who says kids have all the fun? A new survey in Britain reports people over 50 are more likely to get lucky on first dates than those under 40. Pretty sad to know Grandpa’s getting more action than you are. [The Sun]

FOUR POUNDS

Quantity of chicken wings consumed in eight minutes by Patrick “Deep Dish” Bertoletti, winner of the chicken wing “Chowdown.” [AP]

NO SMOKING

It’s official. Belmont, CA has banned smoking in all apartments and condos. However, “officials say the ordinance was written so that smokers will only face enforcement if their neighbors complain.” [AP]

HEART BREAKIN’ BOSSES

If you go back to a stressful job after having a heart attack you’re at a much higher risk of having a second one...and a third one. [LA Times]

WHOOPS

Two Czech couples discover that their ten month old babies were accidentally switched at the hospital immediately after the births...now they’re switching them back. [Guardian]

CREEPING ON CLOONEY

A hospital suspends two dozen medical workers for peeking at George Clooney’s confidential medical records when he was admitted after a motorcycle accident. [AP]