Watercooler Sensation

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COME ON Iraq, Why The Crap Gift?

On Monday, we told you about how Junichiro Koizumi, the former Prime Minister of Japan, gave President Bush an electric-power- assisted bicycle and a CD collection of his favourite Elvis Presley songs as an end-of-the-year gift.[Times Online]

Here’s the thing. If you thought that was a half-assed gift, look at what other world leaders are sending our Decider-In-Chief’s way:

• Guy Verhofstadt Belgian Prime Minister: two grey and navy blue cycling jerseys and tights embossed with “a patriotic stripe” and the President’s name.
• Anders Fogh RasmussenDanish Prime Minister: (clearly in cohoots with Guy Verhofstadt) a red and white cycling jersey embossed with the words “George W Bush”
• Ferenc Gyuresány Hungarian Prime Minister: a pair of Huszár riding boots with a leather “W” stitched into the side (we’re beginning to see a trend).
• Thaksin Shinawatra then Thai premier: Cartier Santos-Dumont watch in a white gold case. Not bad, not bad...
• Nouri al-MalikiIraqi Prime Minister: a silver palm tree with hand-hammered trunk and finely cut leaves with three bunches of gold dates.
• Jalal Talabani, Iraqi President: the same, but damaged on arrival. Ouch.

What can we say: You reap what you sow.

Drink? In The Clink? Think Pink!

• An Arizona Sheriff has a new plan to curb drinking and driving in his territory. Think humiliation. Think pink. [AP]
• Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio has resurrected the chain gang for people convicted of drunk driving.
• If you get caught behind the wheel after boozing it up, you’ll find yourself as part of a prison work gang. Your job: digging graves for recently deceased homeless alcoholics at a nearby cemetery.
• And that’s not all. You’ll also be in hot pink t-shirts. And old-fashioned prison stripe pants. Underneath it all, pink underwear.
• The outfits have the phrase “Sheriff D.U.I. Chain Gang,” just in case passing motorists don’t get the point.
• Yes, it’s a punishment for those convicted, but Sheriff Arpaio says he really wants it to be a deterrent for those drunk drivers out there who haven’t been caught.
• Arizona is *not* playing around with their recent drunk-driving epidemic. Last year the state had the 6th-highest alcohol-related deaths in the nation.
• In June, the state legislature cracked down, passing a law mandating a minimum of 45 days in jail for DUI convictions and ignition locks for first-time offenders.
• In Phoenix, Arpaio has instituted another shame-filled brainchild. Get convicted of a drunk-driving felony, and your mug shot gets plastered on a DUI billboard for all to see. [IHT]

Arpaio is also posting bleary-eyed drunken DUI mug shots on line.

Hey Kids, Ever Hear Of A 401(K)? Nope.

• Things are looking grim for the future old people of America. [CBS]
• A new report from the Government Accountability Office finds that “one out of every three American workers born in 1990 will have zero dollars in a 401(k)-style plan at retirement.”
• 36.8 percent of today’s 17-year-olds will have no money in a 401(k) or similar plan when they retire.
• Among low-income workers, “63 percent of them will have zero dollars in a 401(k)-type account when it comes time for them to retire.”
• The cause of the decline? Employers aren’t providing them, people aren’t using them, and people aren’t letting their savings grow.
• Here are the numbers: “only 62 percent of active workers were offered any kind of retirement plan — pensions or 401(k) style — by their employer.”
• Beyond that, “only 36 percent of workers in 2004 participated in 401(k)s and similar accounts when offered.”
• The solution? Creating a universal 401(K). Check it out here: [American Progress]

Let the children feel the power of compound interest.

Sorry Neo, You Can’t Freeze Time

• Anyone who’s ever been in a car crash or gone sky-diving will tell you that, when you’re suddenly very afraid, time seems to…stop. [MSNBC] [AFP]
• Scientists at the Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, TX, decided to examine the common phenomenon, to see why the passage of time feels so different to people in danger.
• This is where it gets cool.
• Some people have theorized that, with a sudden rush of adrenaline, the brain moves faster, making time slow down. That’s not the case.
• Instead, it turns out to be a trick of memory. When you’re frightened, a section of the brain called the amygdala goes into overdrive and gives you an extra set of memories about what you’re experiencing. The more memory you have of an event, the longer you think it took to occur.
• Neuroscientist David Eagleman “frightened” his subjects by having them freefall 150 feet into a special net.
• Across the board, all subjects thought their own fall took 36% longer than the falls they witnessed others taking.
• Eagleman also strapped a wristwatch contraption onto the subjects’ wrists. The watch flashed numbers just slightly too fast for the normal, calm mind to make out. The thought was that if adrenaline sped up the brain process, you’d then be able to read the numbers.
• No one could.
• The fact that memory creation messes with our perception of time is also tied to how time seems to pass when we’re kids.
• Eagleman: “When you’re a child, you lay down rich memories for all your experiences; when you’re older, you’ve seen it all before and lay down fewer memories. Therefore, when a child looks back at the end of a summer, it seems to have lasted forever; adults think it zoomed by.”

And now we’re dying to do that 150-foot freefall — fun!

Word Of The Year: w00t

• What “truthiness” was to 2006, “w00t” is to 2007. [Merriam Webster] [Reuters]
• Every year, Merriam Webster releases their word of the year. Last year they gave the nod to Stephen Colbert, this year, they’re awarding the techno-talk of online gamers.
• The word: “w00t” (spelled with zeroes)
• The definition: “expressing joy (it could be after a triumph, or for no reason at all); similar in use to the word ‘yay’”
• In other words, a raw (typed) expression of geek joy.
• Other words in the top ten words of the year:
• facebook (v.): “to add someone to a list of friends on the Web site Facebook.com or to search for people on the social networking site.” [Reuters]
• blamestorm (v.): “sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.”

Starting to feel old...

By the Numbers

Oh, Tannenbaum

Nothing says Christmas like decorating your Christmas tree. Whether your tastes run toward stately firs, shining aluminum or the more, er, Charlie Brown variety, here’s a bit of trivia about your Tannenbaum.

1842

The year the Christmas Tree tradition was introduced in the United States by a German named Charles Minnegerode, who brought the custom to Williamsburg, Va.

32 million

Number of real Christmas trees which will be sold this year. [Washington Post]

5-16

Number of years it takes for Christmas trees to fully grow. [Cape Gazette]

18 people

The number of people who could live breathing the oxygen created by one acre of growing Christmas trees.

9.3 million

Number of fake Christmas trees sold in the U.S. last year [ABC News]

85%

Percent of fake Christmas trees that are made in China.

Celebrities: Unfiltered

“Of course he’s sexy. He seems to be flourishing and following his calling. It’s just the most enviable thing in the world, like watching a beautiful racehorse run.”

— Mega-hottie actress Uma Thurman, feeling the love for stallion Al Gore at the Nobel Prize concert in Oslo this week. [Washington Post]

Speed Round

AND IF YOU CAN FIND THEM…

Oscar-nominated director John Singleton will be directing a big-screen adaptation of The A-Team. Please tell us Ice Cube will play BA Baracus. Please tell us Ice Cube will play BA Baracus. [Dark Horizons]

SMART UNDERWEAR

Doctors in the U.K. are developing a new kind of bra that gives you great cleavage AND can detect breast cancer. [ABC News]

THE RICH ARE DIFFERENT

The next time you’re thinking about taking out another mortgage so you can get the fanciest new iPhone, keep this in mind: Multi-billionaire Warren Buffet says he “only recently bought a cell phone, which he uses reluctantly.” [San Jose Mercury News]

ATHLETIC DISGRACE

The International Olympic Committee officially stripped runner Marion Jones of her medals yesterday, erased her name from the record books and banned her from attending next year’s Olympics in Beijing. [AP]

$97,000

Going price for Orson Welles’s personal working script for Citizen Kane at auction this week. His “lost” Oscar, which was expected to go for a cool $1.2 mil, failed to sell. [BBC]

CELEBRIDIRT

FYI: Jessica Alba is preggers. [Jossip]

INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS

Having already solved the rest of the world’s problems, Tajikistan launches a campaign against witchcraft. [Reuters]

NOODLE HEADS

The Italian government calls on “Mr. Prices” to fix its inflation problem, which is basically exactly what we’d expect out of a country like Italy. [Reuters]

COLOR US STUNNED

Super mathlete calculates the 13th root of a random 200 digit number in 70 seconds...You lost us at “13th” but we’re pretty sure this is impressive. [AFP]

FUN WITH HEADLINES

“Naked man sent to wrong house for sex” [Stuff]

VERY BAD THINGS

The holiday season: Christmas tree ornaments. Walmart’s holiday season: Christmas tree ornaments made with the blood of sweatshop workers toiling under horrific conditions in China. [Reuters]

AVOID DEATH

The winner of the 11th annual ridiculous warning label contest. [ABC]

PSA

Evolution keeps women upright during pregnancy. [AP]

DUSTIN HOFFMANN

The Dunkin’ Donuts employee who shares his name with the star, on stopping a robbery, “The security tape is either going to show me run away and hide in the office or whack this guy in the head, so I just grabbed the cup and clocked that guy pretty hard.” Nice. [TMZ]

FOCUS ON THE ISSUES

How do the presidential candidates take their coffee? Cappuccino? Really Senator McCain? [AP]

CHRISTMAS CAROLING

Deck your tree with ornaments made by Chinese teenagers at less than half the legal minimum wage. Fa la la la la, la la la la. [NYT]