Watercooler Sensation

Read once for instant popularity

Gay Men Spend More On Vacations

• Gay men spend 33% more than anyone else when they go on vacation. [Freep]
• Top gay-friendly vacation sites: San Francisco, Key West, New York City. (Look for this list to get a lot more competitive, once cities realize how much money they could be making!)
• $800 per trip: Average amount a gay man spends on vacation (compared to $570 for lesbians and $540 for heterosexuals.)
• $55 billion: Estimated amount gay Americans spend on travel every year. [Chicago Tribune]
• The group also pinpointed brand preferences for gay travelers. Airlines: American and Southwest. Car Rentals: Avis. Cruise Lines: Atlantis. Hotels: Hilton.

That’s a lot of dough! No wonder their holidays photos are always so darn fabulous!

Hey, Scrooge! What Are The Worst Christmas Movies Ever?

• Here’s one to get your phone lines lighting up: What are the worse Christmas movies of all time? The Dayton Daily News made their list and checked it twice. Gotta say we agree with a lot of these. [Dayton Daily News]
• How about the 1978 Star Wars Christmas special on CBS? Nothing says Happy Holidays like Harvey Korman, Bea Arthur, a strung-out Princess Leia and Boba Fett?
• Oooh! Anyone remember the 1982 “Christmas Comes to Pac-Land"? Instead of making Pac-Man and friends look like, well, Pac-Man, these animated characters were just circles with mouths. They help Santa recover from a sleigh crash. Everyone, to the arcade!
• Silent Night, Deadly Night, anyone? Because what’s not merry about Santa as a blood-thirsty serial killer?
• Anything starring Kathy Lee Gifford. We’ll raise a glass of egg nog to that.

We were always freaked out by the old-school specials with everyone in matching sweaters singing. >Shudder!<

Spam: It’s Back

• “Hi, it’s me, Vera!” “Earn Money At Home!” “Improve you’re sexxx drive” Yep. Spam makes us crazy, too. And now it’s back and worse than ever. [NY Times]
• The number of spam messages has doubled from last year.
• Spam makes up 9 out of every 10 email messages sent.
• What happened? It was only a couple of years ago that Bill Gates said the spam problem would “be solved by 2006.” And for a while, we were getting considerable fewer emails from that wealthy Nigerian guy, it’s true. But now, our in-boxes are clogged again.
• Spam blockers did a great job of targeting key spam words and keeping those messages out of our systems. Spammers figured that out and now are imbedding their messages in picture images, where they slide through undetected.
• Spam blockers did a great job of targeting the email address of spammers and blocking them. Spammers figured that out and now are stealing other email addresses by infecting unsuspecting computers and using their systems to send out their messages.
• Spam blockers did a great job of analyzing mass messages and blocking ones which were sent out in massive amounts. Spammers figured that out and created technology which ever-so-slightly changes each message as it goes out. It may only change a few pixels, but it’s enough to fool spam blockers.

We still don’t understand who the people are who fall for spammed offers. Come ON guys!

The State Of Florida Is Mean To Disabled Kids

• The state of Florida is spending thousands of dollars on a lawsuit to get out of paying $360 to provide special blankets to a severely disabled boy. [Miami Herald]
• Kevin Estinfil, age 12, “has severe cerebral palsy, is blind, has a shunt in his brain to drain excess fluid.” He lives in a group home for disabled kids. On top of that, he’s unable to control his body temperature. When his body temp drops dangerously low, Kevin is in pain and prone to having seizures.
• There’s a solution. Doctors say Kevin needs special thermal blankets, which cost about ten bucks. He needs three a month, bringing the grand total of keeping Kevin out of serious pain for a year exactly $360.
• But Florida’s Agency for Persons with Disabilities doesn’t want to pay for Kevin’s blankets, saying they’re not technically “medically necessary.” And they’re not afraid to spend thousands of dollars in legal fees to fight Kevin.
• The state says they’ll pay for a heating pad ($250), which is a no go because Kevin lacks the skills to turn it on and off. It’s also too small.
• ‘Lizel Gonzales, Kevin’s lawyer through Legal Services: “I keep thinking, `It’s a blanket. It’s not like he’s asking for a car.’ Give the kid a blanket. His life is hard enough.'’

When the state gets to hell, refuse to give it ice water.

Wrinkle-Remover To The Stars Goes To Jail

• It’s true. Beverly Hills people *are* different from you and me. [LA Times]
• Rich folks in Beverly Hills, are shocked, just shocked, that allowing an unlicensed doctor illegally inject their faces with an industrial-grade silicone gave them serious medical problems.
• The silicone, smuggled from Argentina, is similar to the stuff usually used to lubricate auto parts. And that’s how he got his nickname, Dr. Jiffy Lube.
• “Dr. Daniel” Serrano promised well-heeled (if dim-brained) clients that his silicone injections would “permanently” stop wrinkles.
• Each injection cost $500.
• And although he hyped himself as a cutting-edge miracle doctor, the unlicensed Serrano filled syringes himself from plastic bottles at his dirty kitchen table.
• The silicone had a tendency to harden in people’s faces. It also caused massive allergic reactions (as you may suspect, not all faces like being shot up with car lube), or caused holes to form on the faces.
• Among his clients: Lionel Richie’s ex-wife Diane, Larry King’s wife Shawn King. (Neither women was available for comment — probably busy with their Mensa meetings.)

We always suspected Botox lead to brain damage, but now we’re thinking it might be the other way around.

By the Numbers

I’ll be home, wasted off company booze, for Christmas. But not the day after Christmas.

Ahhh, the ol’ holiday trade-offs: time, money and par-tay. American employers are offering higher year-end bonuses, lavish holiday parties, but offering less paid time off to spend time with the family.

49%

Will give their employees year-end gift bonuses in 2006. A record high!

43%

Will offer three or more paid days off in 2006 (including Christmas and New Years)

60%

Offered three or more days in 1989.

82%

Will have a holiday party, with almost all (86%) picking up the tab in full. Thanks, boss!

$25,000 and $5,700

Median amount spent on holiday parties by large and small companies respectively. Costs of mistletoe-related lawsuits not included.

Celebrities: Unfiltered

“His name spelled backward is Kcarab Amabo — which sounds better than my name backward — Ynot Yelknalb (to which I might respond ‘I sure am yelknalb’).”

— Conservative columnist Tony Blankley. He then added, “MADAM, I AM ADAM,” and laughed maniacally. [Washington Times]

Speed Round

TACO BELL

Save your breath *and* your colon: Taco Bell pulls green onions off of its menu after the e.Coli outbreak. [AP]

NAUGHTY, NOT NICE

Yes, Virginia, there is an arresting officer! A boy found the Game Boy his great-grandma had wrapped and hidden for Christmas. He opened it, took it home and started playing with it…so his mom called the police and had him arrested for petty larceny. [CNN]

CELEBRI-DIRT / GLOBAL TRAGEDY

Paris Hilton decides that babies are the newest accessory, looks to adopt. [MSNBC]

FRAUD

Boy and his mother fake mental retardation for twenty years in order to bilk the governmnet out of $111,000 in benefits. And we thought Johnny Knoxville’s The Ringer was offensive. [Fox News]

JERR-Y! JERR-Y!

Jerry Springer pulls the plug on his radio show, citing a desire to return to the world of midget transvestites who are your baby’s momma. [AP]

N-WORD NAUGHTINESS

Black comedian Damon Wayans is fined $320 and temporarily banned from the Laugh Factory (site of the Michael Richards incident) after using the n-word 16 times. We’re glad real racists like Damon are punished while good people like Trent “Dixiecrat” Lott are given congressional leadership posts. [TMZ]

JUST ‘FRIENDS’

Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn split up. In other news, we yawn. [AP]

WHERE’S YOUR BABY ONE MORE TIME?

Britney Spears is not returning phone calls from the Los Angeles Department of Children & Family Services. Too busy with Paris Hilton pole dancing lessons. [Page 6]

GOOD PEOPLE DOING GOOD THINGS

Because we like to bring you a little holiday spirit now and then: husband and wife auction off Playstation 3 to help pay for daughter’s surgery. [eBay]

PSA

20 ways to avoid holiday embarrassments. Funny, we’ve done all of these. At least twice. [Chicago Sun-Times]

WHERE DO WE GET AN INVITE

Camel drinks too much Guinness, crashes Christmas party. In other news, we’re clearly going to the wrong Christmas parties. [Reuters]

YOU PAY FOR WHAT YOU GET

New study shows that fun is becoming cheaper. Performing asinine studies, though, is not. [Reuters]

CELEBRI-DIRT

K-Fed says he’s doing “great.” Meanwhile, Britney says she’s drunk. [AP]

JUST NOT RIGHT

Hitler’s race car going for a cool $12 million. We’ll take a Prius, thanks. [CNN]

ONE TOUGH BROAD

75 year old woman douses car hijacker with gas, claiming “I’m sure he was burning like mad. I mean, I drowned him right in the face.” Burning, indeed. [AP]